cell phone drama,a movie, a date and a condo

Thursday night: On my house phone, talking to one of my "man friends" when I see my cell phone needs to be charged. Put the cell phone on charger and don't hear the charge tone it usually gives me. I fiddle with it and discover my charging port on my phone is loose. I figure out a way to get it to charge by wrapping the cord in a boy scout type knot to make it though the night. I'm pretty annoyed considering the phone will only be 1 year old in 2 weeks.

Friday morning: Wake up early to discover that during the night my evil house gnomes have unraveled my cell phone cord thereby denying my cell phone of it's vitality. Get up, get dressed, brush teeth, slap on make-up and drive to sprint repair store. Walk in and am instantly greeted by 3 Persian men around my age. They all went to my high school and know my ex boyfriend Johnny (oh Joy). exchange my cell phone for one with a working charge port. Drive to parents house to set my phone up (same kind of phone and same model). The phone is dialing by itself. I press a button and it dials odd numbers ending in a triple six every time. Turn new cell phone off and turn it back on in hopes that it clears up the problem. I press the volume button and the phone dials another random number ending in a triple six. Go with parents to coffee, all the while trying to get phone to work correctly. I fail. Take possessed phone back to repair shop and Persian guys and ask for a phone that is a bit less satanic. They comply and I receive yet another phone. This time in white instead of green thinking it would be less evil. It worked, go figure. Side note, one Persian guy asked me out, although quite good looking I have now developed a new rule to dating: if I need more than two marbles in my mouth to pronounce your name, we simply can't date, it's just too confusing and I like my men with TWO eyebrows, not one long bert and ernie special.

Friday night: arrive at Kat and Manual's house to have pizza and go to the opening of the movie Orphan. Enter theater and am accosted by 4 armed guards all trying to hand me posters for that g-force movie with the Guinea pigs. Gotta love the ghetto. Accept all four posters, enter movie, find seats. watch movie, laugh at scenes that aren't supposed to be funny and get embarrassed. Leave theater when movie is over abandoning four g-force posters in random seats. Receive hushed phone call from mom saying I need to come to their house. It's 10:00 p.m so it must be important. Drop off friends and high tail it to mom and dad's. Mom and dad got a phone call saying we got the condo on bluestone street in Fremont. Go home and dream of fighting over paint colors and bathroom fixtures with mom and barely sleep a wink.

Saturday morning: wake up 8:30 a.m, clan house, make coffee, throw on clothes, smack on make-up, grab laundry and show up at mom and dad's by 10:00 Ceaser (our agent) shows up five mins later. We sit around the kitchen table and sign billions of papers for this condo on Blue stone commons. Make a trip to look at the condo again, Took notes on what condo needed fixed and left for home. Dropped parents off at their house at 12:00 p.m. Remembered I had a date with the witch doctor at 1:00. I have an hour to drive home, shower, change and put nicer make-up on. Meet witch doctor at pet store and jump into his truck (apparently he has to bring a new car every date we have) He takes me to Sosalito to a nice little place for seafood and view of the bay. Takes me shopping afterwords to little shops with over priced items and various choking hazards (sweet!) annoyed that I refuse to let him buy me trinkets. We drive to sujus for coffee and get there by 6:15 p.m. We sit outside and I notice My father's shirt is hanging on the back of one of the chairs. They had been there 5 hours before and dad walked off with out his shirt and just in his under shirt AGAIN. Pick up shirt, witch doctor asks how I know it's my dad's and I sniff the collar and say I know it's my dad's shirt cuz it smells like my dad. Witch doctor is clearly grossed out by this. I roll my eyes and stuff shirt in my purse. Witch doctor then gets all republican on me and then tells me he hates kids and never wants to be a father......wow. Such a charmer, that's a great way to win a teacher over, tell me you despise children. second date FAIL. third date NOT an option. Witch doctor insists that we look at the neighborhood I will be moving into to see if it's safe or not. As we pull in there are 3 cop cars in the complex. I slyly snap a photo of the police and text mom to tell her that maybe we should reconsider our earlier paper signing extravaganza. She insists that after my date I go back to their house and we all go in my car back to the condo and see whats going on with the police. Witch doctor takes me back to my car and I think him for the interesting date and ask him to try not to run over and children on his way home. Head on over to mom and dad's, get there around 8:15 p.m. and drive by condo. there are no police anymore and I produce the picture as proof that they were indeed there. Make plans to visit complex tomorrow and mom wants to talk to the neighbors to find out if the place is nice or if the police are there often. I will be hiding in the back seat.

Us all signing the papers to the condo on blue stone commons and our awesome agent Ceaser.
Took this picture in one of the shops we went into on our date. Isn't it nice to know you can put a price on death?:)

updates on stuff....

Okay, so far we have NOT heard a darn thing on the condos we bid on, just a few letters from mortgage companies that said they looked at our credit.....and that's it. Still hoping for the one across from the fire station, but at this point I will take anything to get out of the hood. It's summer and all the kids are out till the wee hours of the morning playing ghetto tag and screaming and it's driving me batty, and not in the cool goth way I like to be batty.

So Friday night I went to see Harry potter with two couples My friends Kat and Manual and their two friends. I was supposed to bring the witch doctor as my date, but I guess he had to go caving for more crystals to heal people with or something cuz he backed out. I took a slight offence to him backing out and changed his ring tone to the witch doctor song sung by the chipmunks cuz I'm that mature. Any way, so Harry Potter was good, didn't mind being a 5th wheel so to speak. Some guy asked to sit next to me and he was pretty cute so I said yes, even though there was tons of seats that were open. I figured I was gonna totally get a phone number till that scary scene came up (not describing it for fear I will ruin it for others) and he jumped and elbowed me in my left boob. Yeah so naturally I screamed in pain, one doesn't expect their ta-tas to be abused in a movie theater......okay maybe, but not at Harry Potter! Sheesh. Clearly there was no coming back from that and when the show was over he darn near jumped the rails to get out before the lights came up. Not like I was gonna press charges, it's an honest enough mistake. But It was a fun movie and I enjoyed myself despite the elbow in my man bait.

Saturday I woke up with a sore throat and stuffy nose. This really ticked me off, cuz I know the photo shoot was the next day. I tried to ignore it for a few hours, went and had coffee with the parentals and played some scrabble. Then went home and washed my hair for the photo shoot. I woke up Sunday feeling like that bee that gets caught on your wind shield wiper and no matter how much you spray it and swipe your wiper blades, just wont come off. That's exactly how I felt. slimy wet and pissy and a little dizzy. I picked up mom cuz I figured here's her chance to get outta the house AND see me in a dress. we grabbed coffee, deposited my vacation pay (yeah rent) and made the drive to my hair salon in Livermore. A nice scenic route though lush canyons and grape vineyards listening to Patsy Cline to get me in the mood. I still felt like crud, but we walked in and the whole place was decked out in back drops fancy hats and clothing form the 30's 40's and 50's. it was really cute. The photographer was tattooed with pin up girls all over her and a betty paige hair cute. So Naturally she was cool. I was whisked away to get my hair done in a chi chi rodrigez style. curly and long and over one eye with a black rose pinned in it on the side. That wasn't so bad, I have tons of pictures like that so no big deal. Then it was off to the make up chair, mom watching the other vict...I mean models walking around in their outfits and looking so cute. Ericka did my make-up. it's hard to watch what they are doing to you when you have to keep your eyes shut, but I felt her doing my eyebrows, so I was glad that someone dew them on or I would have a huge forehead. She applied Shadow all the way up to my eyebrows...okay that's new for me but what ever. then she glued the fake eyelashes on. and she was done. I opened my eyes to see a fat version of Joan crawford. All I needed was a wire hanger. Honestly, my brows were so thick it was crazy. Normally if I was feeling better I would have put up a fight and had her thin them out, but I felt like crud and lost my desire to do anything, but hurry it up so I can leave and go back to bed. I got into my 40's style cocktail dress and a fringed shawl and did what ever the lady taking the pictures told me to do. I hope I didn't blow it because I felt so bad but we will see next week when I go to "approve the head shots." I'm sure I will be mortified. LOL Oh well I tried. Angela showed up in time to watch the shoot and then she left when we did. When mom and I came home dad almost peed himself when I screamed no more wire hangers! I thinned out my eyebrows but was to chicken to try to rip off the eyelashes till I got to my house just in case I yelped in pain. so we went to coffee and I hid behind my sunglasses. When I got home I took off the eyelashes and it actually didn't hurt so that fear is now gone. I showered and took 3 shots of nyquil and slipped into a coma. I woke up for work on Monday at 6:00 a.m. I felt even worse, and every time I blew my nose, a un identifiable liquid shot out of my eye. ewwww. tried to apply make up and dragged my sick butt to the car. drove to work and fell asleep in the car while I was waiting for the school buses to drop off my kids. I was woken up by a co-worker who is a nurse and rolled down the window to talk to her. She said I sounded like a drag queen and was too sick to work so she made me go home and told the school principal. I called in sick on the way home. then washed off my failed attempt at make up and crawled into bed. I texted my mom (yes, I forced them to get a cell phone and taught her how to text, WIN!) to tell her I stayed home and needed a doctor's appt. I would have made the appt myself, but I'm a baby and refuse to do it because that means I admit defeat and I'm sick. She calls me back and tells me to come over and we went to the doctor. I have a wicked sinus infection and I can't go back to work till Thursday. (faking sadness) darnit! So I have been forced since yesterday to stay in Jammies and watch netflix and re-runs of America's next top model all day and text message cute guys. It's been hard. I hate being sick, but I LOVE my bed. LOL

the only cell phone shot I got at the photo shoot. Hopefully the real pictures look better. lol NO MORE WIRE HANGERS EVER!!!!!

still hunting....

Okay, so far there hasn't been a response for the bid on the last condo I wrote about. Considering our bid was pretty low and I haven't heard anything about if we got it or not, but I'm doubtful. But that's okay since we put 2 more bids out there on two more condos Ceaser found for us. One of the condos is in Newark in a very nice neighborhood again it's a three bedroom one and a 1/2 bath. the kitchen is small (but all I make is top raman so no biggie) and the counter tops are marble. The picked some odd colors to paint the inside, but that's easy to fix enough, it needs carpet and little things like that. It has a decent back yard that can accommodate a small dog, it has a washer and dryer (well the hook ups at least.) it's ground floor and the bedrooms are upstairs (the stairs are carpeted!) the bathroom upstairs is pretty ruff and theres a ceiling fan falling out because of water damage, but I'm sure it's fixable. However, I found a 9 mm shell in the window sill, so why this place seems safer than where I am ? LOL. Now the other condo that I Realllllly Like is way better (in my opinion) it's also a three bedroom, but has a 2 car garage and a back yard big enough for a mid sized dog and a front yard area! It also happens to be across from a fire station (wink wink nod nod). It's kind of ruff though, needs more work than the before mentioned condo. needs paint, carpet, kitchen and bathroom, but I adore it. so we put bids on both condos on Monday so I hope we hear about one of them soon.
In other news, I went on a date with a "doctor" a few weeks ago. His name is Art jeminez and he's pretty cute. he has his own practice in San Fransisco so that was nice, he took me to dinner and then ice cream and I rode in his fancy turbo sports car. So things were going pretty good till I asked him what kind of doctor he was. he tells me he is an alternative medicine doctor. humm and that means what I asked. his reply: "I heal people with crystals and re -align their chackras." He said this with a straight face. After I stopped laughing (okay I know that was rude) I asked him if people really paid him for putting rocks on them and listening to enya. Apparently they do because I just rode in a car worth more than 2 houses. He is a nice guy don't get me wrong, but I had to break the news to the parents that when I said I was going out with a doctor I meant a witch doctor. Now I'm all for the pretty crystals and stuff like that, i read my own tarot and check out my astrology pages, but if I have an axe in my forehead or swine flu, i don't need some rocks on my chest, I need an emergency room. *sigh* well, at least I can cross off doctor from my list, he actually had a white coat with the word doctor on it, I think it counts enough. Plus I already dated a fire fighter, a d.j., a wet back, a rock star, a guy with a missing toe, the single dad, a chemist from Morocco, an Afghan guy with a smelly car, a singing Algerian, a Portoriccan with gout, a young football player with a facial tick, a male model who ended up on meth, a retired chief duty Sargent, a Chinese chef, a guy who was married and didn't tell me, a guy who takes longer to get ready than I do, a stalker, an artist, a photogher and a harley dude. The only thing left is a trapeze artist, a wolf man and a police officer with a kelpto problem. yes I aim High.
even more news: So my amazing British (non gay) hair dresser excuse me, hair artist talked me into modeling for a calender he puts out for breast cancer research.ALL Sales of this calender go to the breast cancer research fund. So I agreed to be an alternate model in case someone backed out. I was stupid to think no one would back out, so now, to my hair artist's delight I am in because some lady has to go to her sons wedding that weekend. great. The theme of the calender is: calender girls (duhhh) so I will be dressed up in 40's or 50's style clothing and trying not to laugh as I pose trying to look sultry yet sweet. They will be doing hair and make up so I have to actually show up bare faced with out eyebrows *ahhh!* I'm excited to support my favorite cause, but not too thrilled someone will be putting a mascara wand close to my eyes. They choose which pictures make it to the calender so I may make it or not, either way I'm happy that I got to take some sort of part in it. If I don't look like a total dork I'll post the picture.....okay I would post it if I did look like a dork but yeah that will be my Sunday this week. I woke up with a huge zit between my eyes so they will have fun trying to cover that one up. LOL
Summer school is going okay, they put us at a school that is really nice, they actually have trees and flowers and cool people and bathrooms that aren't crawling with cockroaches. So despite the horrid heat and having to work the summer I'm actually quite happy there. Even though I have to look at tons of condos after work I have been oddly upbeat. Maybe "doctor" Art re-aligned my chakras when I wasn't looking. LOL

house hunting

For the past five weekends, my parents and I have been looking for a condo, house, or town house to buy to get me out of the hood. I'm not exactly sure why since I never told them about the guy who jumped on the hood of my car at the stop sign near my house, begging for my phone number. But for some odd reason they don't think I am safe in the hood. I went along with it for two weeks thinking they would get flustered and annoyed with the concept of me moving, but they still insist. I love the fact that they want me safe and are willing to help me out and all that good stuff, but with dad and mom both not working, I kinda worry about them having enough money for the many many prescriptions they have for old people ailments. Plus I was hoping to get them a decent nursing home at some point, you know one that actually turns them over enough to not get bed sores. However i see their point, I am the only kid left, I may actually provide them with a grandchild at some point, although I think the lizards are good enough. I would be closer to them (uhhh yeah) and closer to work. It makes sense. I would get to paint my own rooms which would be cool. So our agent is named Cesar brown. He is awesome. We have known his for about 30 years, he's super nice and always remembers us since my dog chased him four blocks down the street snarling and barking while he tried to innocently leave us a tomato plant one summer. He is also pretty forgiving since I caught my dog before she found out what dark meat tasted like. Since I will be the one living there he wanted my requirements. so I told him, #1. bottom floor unit (stairs inside okay, but none outside) I happen to be uncoordinated as a drunk penguin, carpeted stairs are better to fall down than cement stairs, trust me I know. #2. washer and dryer (not that I don't enjoy spending hours at my parents house faking sleep so mom ends up doing my laundry, but it would be nice not to.) #3. patio area big enough to have a small dog (I like big dogs, but, I wouldn't want a large dog confined to a small yard, Big dogs = large turds.) #4. next door to wealthy single fire fighters who like fat chicks with commitment issues and don't mind washing my car shirtless. So far ceaser has found many many condos that full fill my first three requirements, however the 4th one seems to be giving us problems. We did put a bid on a townhouse today, I signed a bunch of papers I didn't understand but since the parents did too, I figured if I'm screwed they are too. It's a two bedroom 1 and 1/2 bath. It's pretty much the same set up as what I have now only in a better area. bedrooms upstairs, laundry upstairs and full bath upstairs. Living room and kitchen down stairs as is the 1/2 bath downstairs. It's cute enough. I like it. It's next door to a woman who has thirty five different versions of the last supper in her windows....nothing says welcome home like guilt. lol. But there are four more bids on the town house, so I'm not getting my hopes up. And if we don't get it, I'm sure there will be another one just as good or better...maybe next to a fire station! LOL

End of the school year.

Okay so I started counting down the days to the end of school when we got back from winter break but we are in the home stretch now. Just six days, Not counting the weekend of course. I'm working summer school so the joy is short lived, but I get a week off between the end of school and the beginning of summer school. I despise having to work summer school, but apparently my apartment manager seems to enjoy receiving the monthly rent from me, so I have no choice. Unless I strike it rich in six days I have to work summer school. Summer school sucks for lots of reasons. Mostly for the kids who really don't want to be there, but it's even worse for the kids who don't even need to be there. You know the ones, they get decent grades, don't screw up and are well behaved. the parents just make them go because it's free and day care costs money. Summer school is never at our regular school. It's always at a different school somewhere in the district. So we have to figure out how we are going to get our supplies to the other school and if the other school actually has a changing table for our kids in pull ups or diapers. It's a new and strange campus, we have to find bathrooms and the teacher's lounge, figure out their copy machine and learn our way around. we never have the keys for any doors we need to get into and it's always hot and they turn off the a/c in the summer. Plus who wants to make a number two in a strange bathroom? I just hope that what ever school they send us to is cockroach free, since the last two schools were crawling with roaches so much we had to shake out the kids back packs before the went home. ewwww epic fail.
We did have a fun field trip last Tuesday though. We went to the water slides. It was actually over cast that day and I was hoping for rain, but no such luck, it was a nice day by the time we arrived. I enjoy most field trips but the water slides create dozens of issues with special kids. most can't swim, most can't talk so if they get lost they can't tell anyone, most have an irrational fear of water and or crowds. Then we have a few that are over friendly and hug perfect strangers, we also have a few that just wait till an adult is distracted enough to make their escape. And then there is Enoch. Enoch ended up being my kid that day. He refused to change his clothes, refused to get into the water, refused to walk and refused to hold my hand. So there I am stuck with a kid who wont do anything at all and I'm in a bathing suit, for NO reason. why did I bother to change? uugghhh! I was able to get him to walk around the pools by telling him to point to things and I would take a pictures of it and show him on my camera. By the end of the day I had no time for lunch, no break, no water and a sunburn that would land most people in the E.R. My back was so burned, for three days I had to take 2 codines just to be able to lay down to sleep. I had to wear a strapless bra and I screamed during p.e. because I had to help swing a bat. Since I live alone, I have no one to rub aloe on my back after a shower. And Now that it's peeling it's itchy, so I came up with the best idea for single chicks who live alone. When you need lotion on your back, you just squeeze out some lotion on a door frame, back into it and move around in a circular motion till you have it where you need it! Not only is my back nice and relived but my door frame smells like mango's! it's a win win! So please enjoy the pictures that lead to my epicly bad sun burn.:)

Robert is going to jr. high next year. Jem is his faviorite aide, after seeing her in this tiny bikini she's my least favorite!

Mrs. Corinda and Ather enjoying the "lazy river."

Enoch and me, thats my I'm gonna kill you smile. I think he knows.... I was only barely sunburned at this point.

This was our view from where Enoch planted his butt and stayed for hours.

so this bucket would fill up with gallons of water and tip over splashing the kids. I have drempt of such a device for nine years....

Danielle and Ather with Mrs. Corinda

Enoch wouldn't even touch the floatie because it had water on it.
Robert and me finally loosing it.

a birthday and a pow wow, yeah thats about it.

Okay so the last few weeks of work/school have been slightly crazy. We have a child who is in a wheel chair and his buckle doesn't work correctly and so the bus service refuseses to transport him. Some how the Parental units think it's our fault and we have had a show down almost daily from this students mother who seems to think it's our job to repair his seat belt. When we became handy men I'm not entirely sure, but thats what she thinks. She refuses to get the seat belt repaired and keeps threating the bus service that she will sue them as well as the school district for what ever reason. Now I understand that I, number one, do Not have children, I haven't had the guts or desire enough to breed yet (yes I know time is running out, but I need to party) But I would like to think that if I had another human fight it's way out of my ever aging and disinagrating toxic womb that I would be resposible enough to make sure said chid is somewhat safe during transport. Maybe I'm crazy, but mothering instincts are not beyond me, I do have the desire to make sure my students are safe, I have even tossed a hug out here or there for what ever reason, sometimes when one of the kids has a boo boo I even put a band-aid on it insted of telling them to just suck it up. So I know that I must be some what in the right on the seatbelt and safty issue. But this woman is adament that it doesn't matter that the safty belt is broken. hummm, things like this make me doubt humanity and wish that parents have i.q. tests before the breed.

On a happier note, natalia's little bro Nahuel had a great birthday last weekend and we had a lovely little party for him.

german choc. cake. I couldn't have any cuz I get hives from coconut.

Natalia, Natalia's mom, Grandma and elisa enjoying dinner and drinks

grandma, elisa and rigo in the back ground, Eric (who I date on occasions) and Navneish (who keeps trying to date me ewww) in the foreground

Navneish, Elisa, Natalia and rigo

we also went to the Standford univerity Pow wow. We ahve gone every year for the last 4 years so it's a tradition. It's a way to get in touch with my mother's culture regardless if she embrases it or joins us I have fun sharing the things I do know about being a native and we LOVE looking at all the native men. LOL The pow wow is always mother's day weekend and it starts on friday. After work on friday, Karen and her family and our friend Jem went to the pow wow and we had a blast. Eveyone tried fry bread and looked through the venders at jewerly and all kinda of cool things, we also got a chance to pet wolves that came to visit from a.z. Of course the drum circle and dancing were amazing as usual, the aztecs were awsome the souix was in full force and the cheyenne men were drool worthy. *swoon* I did find a few good buys, like a $60.00 beaded hair clip that I talked the guy down to $40.00 (what kind of indian would I be if I didn't barter well?) I found a new necklace with a turtle on it super cute for only $20.00 and a shawl that was $50.00 bartered down to $35.00. as well as a pair of beaded earrings for $20.00. We all donated to the save the wolf pack fund because we all enjoyed having the contact with such pretty animals and we are hoping they will return next year. We got home pretty late from the pow wow friday so I slept in saturday and waited for Natalia to get out of her saturday class, so Saturday me and my co worker kris10 went to the pow wow and met up with Rigo, Elisa, Natalia and her mom as well as nahuel. Again it was good times with a diffrent group of friends.

Jem and Karen enjoying fry bread on Friday

Karen's mom and mikey karen's nephew and ashley also enjoying the fry bread.

me and Karen's sister Melissa eating fry bread....notice a theeme?

Kris10 and me on saturday at the pow wow

Kris10,me,mom,natalia,rigo,elisa and Nahuel

natalia's mom, me Elisa,kris10 and Natlia

Kris10 and rigo with a cool aztec dancer in a death costume. sooo cool

one of the ambassader wolves we got to pet and cuddle

the little kids were cute

apache dancer.representing the souix nation a fancy dance chapion.

Nahuel bought theese for his soon to be born baby. too cute!

Well there it is folks, I know it's not that interesting but fun none the less. LOL Love you guys!

hey guys

sorry it's been awhile, been super busy, but I have lots of pics to post and lots of stuff you tell you about. I just wanted to let you guys know I was fine. LOL