If it isn't men, it's the flippin cats.....

Okay get this for more kittah drama. Mom calles me yesterday and leaves me a message cuz I'm at work. I listen to it and she says she has found a nice lady who would love a kitten. Score! Mom met her at wall mart and of course my mom gives her my number and tells her I have plenty of kittahs for her. The lady calls me (her name is Betty) and I ask her which one she would like. She said she wanted my little orange female that I call Ginger. I love Ginger, shes one of my faves. So I get all excited and happy that Ginger will have a warm home and a lady who would play with her and feed her and cuddle with her and take care of her. I agree to meet the lady in Fremont at a carls Jr restrant. I put the kittah in Natalia's carrier she let me borrow and picked up my mom. We met Betty at 8:00 p.m. and she loved Ginger, but had no carrier to put her in. She only brought a box. I felt uneasy about trying to transfer her from Natalia's carrier to the box but agreed to do it. I figured there is 3 of us and we could manage it. I was wrong. The cat busted outta the box and ran away. We couldn't catch her. And now she is lost in a new city she doesn't know and alone without anyone to take care of her. I cried till I made myself sick. I am so worried. I keep wishing I could hit a rewind button and change everything I did. Like just letting this woman just have the carrier and buying Natalia a new one, or transfering the cat while I was inside the car like a smart person would. *sigh* I hate it when I have the best intentions and they fall short. I feel like I betrayedthe cat's trust and it's all my fault, Mom feels guilty because she is the one who talked me out of giving Betty Natalia's carrier and poor Betty still doesn't have a kittah to love and she really liked Ginger for the ten minuites she knew her.......I feel like a total arse and super guilty. My throat hurts from crying so much last night (or I'm sick again) and Mom went back to the area we lost her in today to try to find her, but she couldn't find little ginger. (bonus points for my awsomely sweet mom). Now I have just a few kittahs left and Betty said she didn't want the other ones. And I had to go home and explain to the few kittahs I have left that I lost their sister and she wont be comming home. Thats the second cat I ahve managed to loose, counting socks as the first one of course. ahhhhh, I have had it. I don't want to try to get them fixed or find them homes anymore. I just want to feed them and quit trying to "make a better life for them." I'm not good at it at all. I keep thinking about poor ginger alone and scared in a strange city, without the warmth of her litter mates and being hungry and drinking gutter water.....I'm going to stick to my reptiles from now on. I don't seem to screw that up. :(