Thanksgiving

Thanks giving is always an amusing time for me. Mom does all the cooking, cuz lets just face it, no one wants food poisioning during the holidays. She's in the kitchen for hours and hours cooking this and that, stiring and mixing, basting and all that jazz. As we sit on our butts smelling the yummy smells as our tummies rumble. I arrived a bit later than usual and missed the light breakfast that she lets us have in the morning. Since we usually eat dinner super early on thanksgiving thats all we get till dinner. She went to the bathroom and I snuck into the kitchen and stoled a few black olives to tied me over, since we still had an hour or two to go. I ran back to the couch so she wouldn't catch me. About an hour later she opens the fridge and says "who's been eating the olives? there are 3 missing?!" seriously, the woman counted the olives in the glass dish. Who does that?! This is why I could never cut school or sneek out at night, sh'e knows everything. It's soooo creepy. I didn't get in trouble at least, but she never left the kitchen again dangit!

We finally sat down to eat at around 2:00 p.m. yeah it's kinda early, but we were starving. The turky was small, which was fine, it was enough for us, plus, we had all the sides too, green bean casorol, bread, cranberry crud (eww), stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy and our neighobr's famous broccoli salad, she left my mom the recipe before her unfortunate car wreck a few years back. We clinked glasses and hoped for a better year, because one of the chairs was empty. Feeling the absence of my brother is daily, as we have all lost someone we loved no matter how long ago, or how stressed the relationship was we still feel it. But it was a knock to our hearts and will be for every holiday I am sure. I'm reminded of him daily, I have his things, I have his pictures, I have his ashes, but I can't seem to bring myself to erase his number from my cell phone. Go figure. It was odd, not having him there, but not uncommon, somtimes he wouldn't come to spend the holidays with us, prefering his friends and their family's over ours, but we knew where he was, that he was safe and fed and that was enough. Usually i would get a phone call. But when I got home, I listened to a message he had left me on my answering machine a 8 months ago and felt better. His happy and carefree voice wanting to meat up for coffee and how insted of calling me alison he called me alisinner, and I refered to him as foofoo or foofanew so thats how he would start his messages. :"hey sinner it's foofoo...". I know I miss him, But I am also happy that he isn't sad or in pain anymore, and I know where he is at all times and I don't worry about him at all anymore. And that makes me happy again. I hope I didn't bum anyone out with this post. I'm fine I promise. I just know that I haven't talked about him at all, and I'm not sure if you all knew we had lost him or not.( I know Britt knew) Mom's not up to talking about it, which is understandable, so I haven't mentioned it. But thats what a blog is for right? I figured it was time. Hope you guys had a great feast as well. I miss you all and love you lots. Here are some pics for you to laugh at:

MMMMM, the turkey, in all it's juicy gooness.

But the turkey was no match, for dad's skilled hands carved it up, the only job he gets on this day.

so gonna dig in!

Our dearly missed FooFoo.

the old people

Okay I am excited about worlds deadliest catch again. Yeah I need a life. They are running the seasons over again, Like I don't have them all commited to memory already. It's sad that I am so hyped for this show. I don't know what kind of hold it has over me, but I love it. The guys arnt cute at all, they never shower and they curse.....oh wait I get it, they remind me of all my dates. Mystery solved.
So today since I have no life, I hung out with my parents playing scrabble as per usual. I did however show my parents our blogs, in hopes they would think it would be a great idea to start their own, in essence getting auntie Elaine and Janet to blog as well.....no such luck. As I tried to show them how to navagate through my page and meeer's to get to britt's and Crazy family's I watched their eyes, glaze over with confusion and desperation. They started to humm show tunes and rock back and forth. When they started drooling I just gave up. "what would we blog about?" "we have no life." "we don't do anything." was all I heard. So I just closed the tabs and signed out, thinking they would forget about it in a few weeks and I would try again. I wont hold my breath though, new things scare them. they don't even have cell phones. I'm thrilled that they have indoor plumbing though.

ehhhh aaron didn't make the cut.

Okay maybe I'm picky, maybe I just like to torture myself, maybe I am just hard to please or maybe I am scared to commit, but I had to cut it off with Aaron cuz his car smelled funny. I know it's a stupid reason, and it's not like it actually stunk, it just smelled diffrent. It smelled of expensive calonge and odd afgan spices. And yeah.....thats all I got. Plus he wore a suit and tie to work....I don't know what to do with a white collar guy, I like the blue collar guys, they fix things and move furniture so I can vaccumme underneith. Okay I suck, he was great. I just didn't care for the car smell thing. But I do have a few more in the wings I need to date. I shall sniff test their cars first though.

cougar status-- upgrade and Twilight movie

So I have to upgrade my cougar status a bit, my latest vict.....man friend is 28. So I still get the younger guy, but he actually can grow a beard, and his voice has already changed. Score! I happened upon hium at starbucks. It was Monday and I was already at home watching my net flix of the muppet show cuz I'm a dork. And for some reason or another I was hit with the overwhelming urge for a peppermint hot chocolate. It was late, around 9, but I was still dressed from work and had my face on so I figured I would jump into the car and brave the starbucks in my ghetto neighborhood. I figure the thugs were all outside my apartment complex so there wernt any left to compeet with the yuppi scum that usually hangs out at starbucks. So I hopped into the car to score my hot chocolate. I get in-line behind a rather dashing guy, he's a little taller than me, brown, and is wearing a white jacket with a rhinstone design on the back in the shape of a crown. I found the jacket amusing since by all other appearances, he smelled hetrosexual to me. I happen to have an uncanny gaydar sense. It's one of my lesser known yet handy dandy tallents. He looks over his sholder at me and I grin, mostly because he is wearing the most feminine jacket I have ever seen and I kinda wanted it. He places his order of a vanilla bean frap and then tells the barista that he is buying mine as well. Hummmm. I tell him that I have my money out already and that he is super sweet for offering but I couldn't accept. He says he isn't offering he took out a credit card and asked me if I wanted anything other than coffee. I said I want your jacket. I'm quick to the point I guess. he says, have coffee with me. and I ask why. He says because He noticed I was alone as was he so by all accounts it was meant for us to have coffee together. I figured what the heck, I was armed with various instrments to keep me safe:millitary issue mace, a switchblade givin to me by my brother and an enya c.d. I could take over the world with my arsonal of tourture. We sit down and he tells me his name is aaron. I tell him my name is Pandora. He says thats funny, whats your real name? and I say you have to tell me your real name first. He looks at me for a full min and asks how did you know my name isn't aaron? I tell him that his name isn't aaron because he has an accent and it isn't american therefore his name wasn't aaron. He says he would buy me dinner if I could place his accent and culture. I tell him I want olive garden and he is afgan. He darn near spits out his frap on me and asks how I knew. I told him it was his accent. I then speek farsi to him. I only know a little farsi but it was enough to earn a dinner. score! We talked from 9 ish to 12 ish then parted ways with eachothers phone number. We have seen eachother almost everynight since then. He did take me to olive garden last night. It was yummy. So far I haven't scored the jacket, but he did want to buy me an i-pod thingy, but I don't even know what one is so I said no. He works as a finace guy at auto west toyota. He has a nice car. He wore a suit and tie to dinner.....yeah. He did tell me his real name, I can't pronounce it unless I have 4 marbles in my mouth, but I just call him aaron. he calls me pandora even though I did tell him my name. I don't know if it'll work, the diffrence in culture and religion may prove to be too much for him, I don't care but I'm sure his family will. My family just likes that he's employed. anyway so heres his picture, sadly I didn't get the back of his jacket.

he's pretty cute in a suit and tie too. But whatever, I'm sure it's destin to fail. LOL

So On to twilight. Natalia couldn't go on opening night due to some wedding she had to attend. So we had to wait till today to go. Rodrigo is still reading the book but he is almost done so he wanted to see the movie. And of course, d.j. elisa came with us as well. Although she hasn't read the book yet. I made rigo fandango the tickets yesterday cuz the movie sells out pretty fast. We went to a 5:55 showing but got there at 4:00 and were the first in line to get into the theater....further proving out dorkiness.

So freekin thrilled that we are first in-line. LOL

our huge bucket of popcorn that ended up ruining our appitite for dinner.

Many things were said while we were in line for the movie. I mean we had over an hour to kill. so while there was a lul in the conversation, Elisa decides to tell us she had her dog nacho nutered. Elisa didn't take in account that while she said this Natalia was taking a rather large swig of coofee, which she spat all over me. and then colapsed on the floor in a fit of laughter....and we are the mature ones.

coffee spittle, complaments of Natalia, yet Elisa's fault for nutering Nacho

Natalia's fit of laughter after hearing of Nacho's...emmm missing parts, and spraying me with snot and coffee.

So after we stood in line forever and made total dorks out of ourselves, they actually still let us into the movie. Poor Rigo had to listen to us swoon and giggle over Edward. But he puts up with us a lot. Natalia and I ended up holding hands at the romantic parts, squeezing the life outta eachother like little chool girls. It was sad and pathitic.....we are so doing it again. I have a week off for thanksgiving, and although the movie wasn't up to par with the book and so much was left out, we still enjoyed it fully and will see it over and over, much like we did with interview with a vampire and the crow. The only diffrance is, this time we arnt using our allowance to see movies and our parents don't have to drop us off. LOL. I thought it was so funny that all the kids had to call their parents to pick em up after the movie was over cuz it reminded us that when we were their age, we had to do the same thing, only from a pay phone cuz cells wernt in exsistance, only our sad little pagers were. LOL. After the movie, we went to eat, but had to share food cuz we ate tons of popcorn. Of course there were drinks involved, I was driving as per usual so I had an iced tea. But Natalia had to fine the largest most obnoxious alcoholic bevrage in exsistance.

I mean honestly it looked like blue toilet water and the glass was bigger than her head! LOL But never the less good times were had by all. and on that note, enjoy the next picture.....*Swoon*

Oh yes I bought an edward poster and hung it in my bedroom and took pictures of it. Oddly enough I think he's hot and he isn't even brown...go figure.

love ya! The black sheep

Kittahz

Okay I swear I don't like cats, But Natalia forced me (really) to look at this website called:www.icanhascheezeburger.com. It's so funny I had to share. On that note, i'm sorry to report, that apparently since I could not catch little grey kitty, she is knocked up yet again. *sigh* great. I thought I would get her in time, but when it rained a few weeks ago she didn't come around. Now I know why.

The happiest flippin' place on earth.

It's late, I'm tired and my feet hurt so that must mean I had a great time in disneyland! i love it when it's all decked out for x-mas! I am a sucker for the haunted mansion when it has the nightmare before x-mas theme. I love that movie. As usual Karen (commanly refered to as my wife) set up dinner at the blue byeu restraunt inside the pirates of the carribian ride. This restraunt is famous for the monte cristo sandwich and mint julips. Yummy! My friend works in the hotel across the street from disneyland and he and his wife were our personal tourguides once again and made sure we learned the tricks to getting exactly what we wanted all the time. My friend is a Marine I met when I lived in japan so I call him by his last name: Register. register and his wife Vanessa and his son, hold premium passes to the park, we get a lot of bonuses with that little card. Karen and I only have the delux passes. we had 15% off of all perchaces, including food, free parking in prefered lots, and special seating for any event including fantasma. I love having a hook up where ever I go. LOL! The only draw back was, I am a huge chicken and hate the scary rides. karen loves the scary rides. So when a scary ride is what she wants, she and register and vanessa go on it while I sit with the stroller and watch register and Vanessa's son Samual. Sam hates me. I don't know why. He's 1 year old. Can you really sense evil that young? anyway so they go on splash moutain (yeah like I'm going to walk around wet, hair frizzed out and make-up compermised...so not gonna happen) so I push the stroller like a battering ram through the crowd and find a bench and sit and wait. I turn the stroller around so I can see th kid, and he figures out mom and dad are gone and I am going to eat him or something and he starts screaming like a howler monkey. I am not even touching him! I try talking to him, he gets louder, I try offering him money and toys, doesn't work. I tried handing him cherrios and gold fish crackers, he throws them at me. Then I try picking him up, he struggles in my arms and screams so loud the whole park stops and stares at me. Clearly The child hates me for some unknown reason and I don't know what to do about it. I would have checked his diaper but everytime I got near him he would make another unpleasent noise. I was at a loss. I just stared at him as he cried defeated. Then a perfect stranger sits down next to me and says someone needs a nap. I turn to him and say "yeah i do, but I'm stuck with this kid." and the strager laughes (what? I was serious) Samual sees the strange man and shuts up and strts laughing at him and holding his arms out to him so he would pick him up. Really!!!!! what the heck? this kid has seen me all day and hates me, this dude just sits down and he's some sort of baby whisperer?! I beg him to stay on the bench with me. He asks to hold Sam. Uhhhhh, I'm not sure what the rules are about letting strangers touch children that arn't mine, but common sense says: ehhhhh no. I tell The dude that The kid isn't mine and I can give him back broken. He's offended and gets up and gos to his family that includes 3 little boys all happy and joyus. Great. I have been at the park for 30 mins and pissed off 1 child and 1 adult male age unknown. Again another record I can be proud of. Sam sees him leave and crys his head off again. I just watch him. His parents return and I feel like a failure. I'm a teacher, kids are suposed to like me but fear me when they are older. Register and vanessa make excuses like, he's tired, or cranky. But when I try to interact with him an hour latter, as soon as he sees me he crys. The kid hates me.

The next day we head into the park and get our spot for fansama. I have never seen the show cuz when we go with ashley she's usually crying or tired and we have to go. so this time we were going to see it no matter what. It was great. I loved it and right after were the fireworks. always awsome. We noticed an unusually large ammont of goths at the park. I happen to be an avid goth music fan so I don't think anythin g of it. However when your in a child's park dressed like one of of the undead, expect a few stares. I saw a lot of guys in skirts, no, not kilts mind you fluffy skirts. Okay so I'm used to that I live near s.f. no big deal. But then I saw her.....she was wearing yarn for hair and I think a wash cloth for a skirt. her butt cheeks were hanging out! I had to say something I just had to. She was in the smoking section (my favorite ride in the park) and I said :"My, your out fit is great! It looks waaaay better on you thank my mom." She looked mortified and quicky left, I saw her later on at the peterpan ride donning a pair of black sweat pants. Nice.

The following day, Karen and I check out of the hotel. We have some time to burn before we plan to leave for home. We decide to meet up with Register and go into the park. Sam and Vanessa stay home cuz they are sick. But before we go to register's house, Karen and I needed coffee. We found starbucks near our hotel and sit out side and have coffee planning our last day, when we meet Rabecca. Rabecca is a patiant from the drug re-hab center down the street. She apparently got a day pass and clearly wanted to spend it at starbucks talking to strangers about the dangers of organised religion, goverment, he mofia, housing shortages, rent hikes and the many many people who take up rsidents in her head. I have met a lot of crazies in my life time, heck I have dated most of em, but this was a whole new crazy. I was impressed enough to stay there longer than planned. I couldn't leave, I wanted to know what she would say next and as an added bonus she talked about herself in a third person contex. "Rebecca doesn't have time to give a statment to the police." "Rabecca keeps her legs closed." (thats good cuz shes' the last person who needs to breed) I happen to be a big fan of people who talk about themselves in 3rd person. I enjoy it a lot. I enjoyed Rabecca. She was messy and unkempt and spat a lot when she spoke. she had all the makings of a great crack head. I was under her spell. karen tried so hard to contain her laughter. I was doing a great job of not laughing, I honestly didn't laugh mostly out of fear that one of her personalities may be able to kill me with the spork she was holding. So I kept smiling and agreeing with her. Then I get a text from Register :"where are you guys?" I return the text "we are at starbucks, be there soon." I get a text from register again."starbucks!? It's Monday! watch out for Rabecca!" I reply, "too late." I tell Rabecca that we had to go, and that I am a secret agent and I have to get to work on a meth bust thats happening around the corner. She salutes me and we go to Register's house with the agreement that if ither one of us gets to see Rabecca ever again, we make sure to get her picture.

We drove home later that night. we made it home in 5 hours again and crashed at my house. here are a few pics enjoy:

This is Sam. he hates me.

This is what it looks like to have karen drive, I belive this was 109 m.p.h

yes, I did. I had my pic taken with Jasmine, she's my favorite princess.

inside the haunted mansion ride.

The haunted mansion decorated for x-mas

the wife and I excited to be at disneyland...LOL

sportin' my ears even in the hotel room LOL

Vanessa, Register and Sam

me and Register.

the ship that peter pan and captin hook are on.
splash moutain...yeah not going on this one EVER!

disneyland

Karen and I are leaving tonight for disneyland. Our season passes run out next week so we both took the day off work on monday so we can have a long weekend there. We arnt taking ashley because she hates disneyland. LOL. But I have the interweb in our hotel room so I'll try to post nightly if possible. okay, I better take my disco nap now. (disco naps are the naps you take between parties and our functions where drinking or dancing are required. They can be between 15 mins or 4 hours depending on said party or function.) Just incase you guys needed a name for naps. LOL :) Love ya!
The black sheep........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

humiliation (noun)

Humiliation n. tomake (a person)suffer by lessening his dignity or self-esteem.
So Saturday night was a huge party my friends Brianna and her husband Dustin throw every fall. It's called Fallapolooza. Various friends of theese people, and there are hundreds, preform different songs with a live band made up of more friends. I have gone the last 4 years and enjoyed watching the show and sampling various libations they offer, but I have never preformed a song, although plans to sing Fergi's My humps dressed as a camel has been tossed around in my head for quite some time, I have yet to have enough gumption to actually do it. This year was no diffrent. I planned to be a spectator as usual along with Natalia, Rodrigo, Karen and our other friend Teresa. As per usual I was sober driver. I know my roll in my friendship circle: sober driver, killer of bugs, baby sitter to kids and drunks, vomit cleaner, purse holder, gum despenser,sholder to cry on and make-up artist. So I guess I'm the mom. Anyway you would think that since I was sober for the party I wouldn't make a compleast arse (thats brittish ya know) outta myself, yet I managed to discrace myself at the zero hour. Causing me to rush home after the night was over to franticly search the inter webs for a cheap ticket out of the country and a mad dash to locate my passport. In essence, i can only afford a grey hound bus to Fresno one way. Sadly Algeria was the second cheapest option, but being sold into white slavery isn't high on my lists of things to do, it 's actually a few numbers under give live birth to ax weilding midgets in a dark crouded elevator (I'm very detailed).
So heres the horrid story from start to finish, omiting any naughty language of course. I posted a pic a while back in here of guys I was seeing. One of thoose pics were of me and a guy name Jesse. I have had a crush on for 4 years (boys still have cooties boo). I see Jesse every year at Fallapolooza. He usually preforms and does all the video taping for the show as well. I have tried like mad to get his attention and phone number but failed each year for some reason or another. This was my year you guys, I had my good friends to back me up, I had an extreemly forgiving, yet revealing, yet classy black cocktail dress that made me look like Selma Hayak. A brand new pair of spanx (underwear that moves all your fat around to the right spot and flattens out the rest) and not a single pimple. I was good to go you guys, really. I even wore heels. By the time I was done profecting my famous cat eye with black liquid eyeliner (a tallent only few posses) I wanted to date myself! I had everything going for me. And despite the rain that makes my hair frizz into an afro, I still worked it. We got to the party with perfect timeing. I took off my jacket and lok around and spotted my prey...I mean Jesse. He was surrounded by all his primos (cousins) and Homies (thug friends) score! My night would not be a failure, I am a sucker for latin thugs. I never learn. Latin thugs love me as much as I adore them. All his friends were already workin' their way over to me. But no, I want Jesse. So Rodrigo is a gentlemen first and formost, so his first job being our brother is to get us drinks. so he heads to the bar so we can chck out guys. I'm already pulling chairs around to acomadate my large group of friends when Jesse's buddies start falling over themselves to help re-arrage the furniture for us. So I know Jesse has had to notice me. We place the chairs in the back (prime man scoping area) and settle in for our night of entertainment. Rigo returns with my ice tea and liquor for the others and the show begins. I'm not paying any attention to the stage, Jesse is behind us filming the whole thing as usual. Nice! Not only am I right in his eyeline, but since I am seated he can clearly see my ample cleavage. The whole night is great, I am sneeking peeks at him but don't notice if he's looking at me. I made Rigo sit far away from me so Jesse would know we wernt together. There is a breif intermission in the middle and me and rigo go outside for a smoke, it's raining so a bunch of us are crowded under the overhang and Jesse is amoug us. YES! But all of his friends were out there too....CRUD! They are all speeking spanish DOUBLE CRUD! But Rigo speeks spanish too, and interprates for me in a whisper SCORE! They are all trying to figure out if rigo and I are together (eww) Jesse's brother Louis comes over intoxicated as were they all, and starts telling me how hot I am...right words, WRONG brother! Louis is married and not cute. I barely get to say "hello Jesse." as the band starts up again and we all have to go back in. Jesse stops and says "you know my name?" "I see you evey year Jesse." I say. He smiles and walks inside. YES! he's thrilled that I know his name. The rest of the show is great and I don't even bother looking at Jesse or sneeking peeks at him, My cougar trap is set, he took the bait and I am well within my hunting rights to reel him in, skin him and make him mine. Karen looks at me and I give her the nod and she finds a ride home with another one of our friend conveantly leaving space in my car incase poor jesse needs a ride home, or wants to come hang out with my group after the show. Karen's my wing girl. Natalia usually scares men away cuz she's angry and bitter. The show ends and we are back outside smoking again. Jesse is there and we talk. It's a great conversation, we got politics outta the way, hes a democrate (whew!) and hes 23 (just my style) and loves Rocky horror Picture show! I have never met a mexican thug who has everything I wanted. Now I have and, he HAS to be mine. We are ready to leave the party but I haven't got his number yet so I lag a bit and say that I have to go back in to tell Brianna and Dustin bye and thank you...after all they threw this party. I see Dustin first, not that hard he has pink hair. He sees me and knows of my fasination with Jesse. We cross the room and meet in the middle and he asks how things were going with me and Jesse. I poor out my heart to Dustin and squeel with delight as I tell him I have been talking to him and having a great time. then I proceed to tell him in detail of how I want to have his kids and do unimaginable things to him yada yada yada......and then I look to the left and we are holding this conversation ringt in front of the VIDEO CAMERA! mere inches away from it!!!!!!!!! I screem at Dustin to see if it's on...of course it is. My mind gos blank and Dustin doesn't know how to work the camera because it's not his camrea it's JESSE"S CAMERA!!!!! I even said my phone number while I was talking to Dustin so thats on film as well........I run from the room, out the door whre Natalia and Jesse are having some sort of discussion in spanish about me and I grab her and say we gotta go. I give Jesse a quick hug and bail out. As I show all my drunken friends into my car, Natalia is telling me that Jesse said he didn't want to date any one anymore till he gets his school finished but at this point I don't even care. I just want to squeel my tires and get outta the country. We end up at a local bar so Rigo can play some dumb punching bad video game and I am sitting at a table banging my head into it. several men come over to try to consol me and natalia scares them off (she does come in handy at times) and I tell them what I did. I get no pats on the back or rubs on my back, all I get is gapeing mouths and the loudest laughter I have ever heard. I am so glad that my social humiliation amuses them so much. But I needed someone to make me feel better not worse, so I call Karen at 2 a.m. and she calms me down and says: "is it on utube yet?" Thanks karen. Sunday I wake up and scream into my pillow for a 1/2 hour before I can face the day. I drag myself to my parents house and they are wanting to know what happend at the party and if I got pictures.......I tell mom everything and am met with silence, a deep inhale and a purse of her lips and then she puts her arms around me (oh yeah heres the condolence I need) and then she says: "Sometimes, I'm so glad that we don't have the same last name anymore." And walks away. Now thats love. So I call Brianna the friend who throws the party and plead my case. She has NO IDEA where the video tape is, unless Jesse and his brother still have it. GREAT! So with My story being told and you guys having read it, if you happen to have a spare room I can rent and don't mind lizards can I pretty please move in.....I don't think I'm allowed to be in public any more. There may be a potition going around to kick me outta the state. I think my mom may have signed it. *hangs head* How do I screw it up in less than 5 mins? It must be a record.